I want to rock and roll all night and party everyday!

Monday June 23 2008

This particular random post dates back to the years where i was a so called frequent blogger. I have yet to post it and recently i stumbled upon it, i find it interesting because it has an underlying meaning to a particular someone besides me.

I started it first, it was me, how i wish i could just keep my mouth shut. Now everyone thinks that all i am good at is talking bad about others, telling the truth, insulting and rubbing salt and spice on their past and present bruises. I can't think of anything now because my mind went through a horrendous state of thinking. I feel numb, naive, negative, i don't careless attitude, pen whatever you think kind of situation. If you want to know how it feels, soak your lifeless body in a pack of ice, mix it with nails and lemon juice and then try to think. You will feel high, you will.

What makes me this way is way beyond than what you expected. A whole new beginning to a never ending chapter. It all begins in school, of course secondary school . . .(imaginations starts to run in circles) That was the day back then. The more i write the more my hands hurts. There was this particular group of people and of course they think they were motherfuckingly cool. Well they think so. Jealousy, anger, common language, insultations are brutal and spayed. I was hurt, it felt as if i was hit by a truck and then burn in an incenerator but i keep it all to myself. I was trapped around four walls with nails sticking out at every inch. As i bottled up those feelings i started to get used to it. I don't even care if it flows around or inside me. No this is not the end yet. There was this particular girl, i won't mentioned name but right now i feel like i want to. The guilt, the fear, the sharp, blunt words that poke right through me. Whatever that was coming from her mouth is far more worse than falling from a flight of stairs. It hurts to hear it and she kept on talking and rotting and talking and not noticing that all the problems are gathered in a form of social interactions. Yes social interactions, and until now i am so used to it that i even use it as if im using a pen and paper and then crumble it up and throw directly and your face. I don't mean to hurt or insults or throw spikes at your face because i can't get rid of the pain and anger that has been with me for a few years. When i ask for individual comments or opinions on me, they ask why? Go look at yourself. Well, Fuck You, i asked you a question so better answer it back you fucking idiot. I totally lost control and vent my anger at that point of time. I use to have a nice, plesant personality but now things seems to be different. I can't see the fear coming through me, all i can see is the pain that i inflicted on the people i know. Frankly speaking i don't give a shit, this is me, so why should you or i bother. It is the people around me that make me as i am. The people around me during that particular period of disgust. What do you think? Well fuck your thoughts and opinions. I don't trust your mouth except for some people who really knows me well. I know this is random and unexpected. Well i don't care because you can kiss my ass.

Can someone please reach out to me? Can someone please turn me to being nice again? Excuse me if i say, please i 'm trying my best here to insult you more and to hurt you more. SO if you mind? This is notto be taken seriously because this is not an opinion. This is not a perspective, this is a view that i see from a tiny hole, putting myself in front of everyone. Judging myself. Please judge yourself before you judge others because the enemy is still you. I still try to keep my mouth shut and think before i talk. think about others. That way i don't put myself in a situation that requires another form of insultations and anger

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